It makes sense-- raising a girl is nothing like raising a boy. My parents recently put parental controls on all off my devices for having an A- in school (keep in mind that the highest grade possible is an A, not an A+), and made me sign a device use agreement, listed below) I am wondering what the community thinks about this and if it is fair. I will not attempt to bypass the administrator password. Teen, 14 years old written by oopsie January 29, 2019 she's scrolled through my texts, looked through my apps, checked all of my history, and she searches through each thing on my phone for something, ANYTHING to get mad at. This is a bit of a tangent, but I’m a straight-A Honors student and I’m passionate about all the things I do. Good luck, nosy parents :D Say you're worried that the family's drifting apart and you want to spend more time with your child. Flag as inappropriate  My parents recently put parental controls on all off my devices for having an A- in school (keep in mind that the highest grade possible is an A, not an A+), and made me sign a device use agreement, listed below) I am wondering what the community thinks about this and if it is fair. maybe instead of blocoking them immediately, you can talk to your child. Spot checks are a good idea. Second, take your desire to reach out and be honest to your parents. All of my friends who's parent have that stuff don't have very good relationships and are afraid of their parents. Dont give them shit for it. 1. Now, I've had a phone for around three years (I turn 15 in about four or five months I think) and my parents have been monitoring my phone ever since. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts Kids these days will never develop into proper adjusted people if parents do not start butting out again like mine did exactly enough. Monitoring cell phones is fine for parents to do. I have been brutally bullied and my parent's controls did absolutely nothing to stop it. I am also glad you moved in with someone who is supportive of your identity. I believe it’s a necessity nowadays. And please DO note that i am not being judgemental al tall, quite on the contrary. The choices you make will put you in the path of your life. Also, for the parents with sensitive kids like me: respect their boundaries when speaking to them. Please, let me live it. You have to abide by them too. I feel like I should be able to use my phone at home because I feel that it is unfair for me to not be able to text my friends in my own home. I don't think that checking your kid's phone is entirely a bad thing, but I do believe that doing it excessively is. see our answer see our answer i’m very particular about video calls. Okay, if you’re gonna check your child’s phone its just gonna make them mad. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts Now we strongly believe it is necessary but dont know what app to use and with our phone plan if i have her phone linked to mine or my wifes our daughter can also see our texts ect. This keeps going on and on. Honestly, if I wanted to watch porn and talk to strangers on the internet, that is also my choice. as a 13 year old i text my friends while cussing and making dirty jokes sometimes like any other teenager. Another point I would like to make to those adults who have taken the time to read these comments, if you think your child is too young and innocent to recognize the dangers of social media, don't you think perhaps they are too young to have social media. Teen, 13 years old written by ellbell_37 October 22, 2019 Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts Right now, we are in the middle of a pandemic, meaning that we can't leave the house or hang out with our friends . I feel like I would be comfortable enough to talk to my parents about things and say what I am really feeling and thinking as long as they didn't moniter my every move - it feel like they don't trust me, and as a result I am uncomfortable with telling them about anything that goes on in my life, which has definitely harmed my relationship with them. We don't have the time to monitor her every minute were awake. Also, people still use Facebook? Please, for the love of god stop saying spend more time with family because part of a teenager is growing independent and adjusting to changes. Teen, 16 years old written by Angel the Disne... May 13, 2019 My parents gave me so much anxiety that I started harming myself and even suffered 5 s**cide attempts, I've ran away a numerous amount of times. Change the way you think about it. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts I'm the master of hiding my favorite books/electronics (I don't have a phone) from my parents. I honestly do not want to have it, I feel like my choices are being controlled, I'm scared to get on my phone in case I get in trouble, I feel distrusted, and nothing has mended between my parents and I. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts If they're internet friends, don't get mad at her please, that's totally unfair. my parents have all my email and phone and computer passwords, and they even have my skype and school stuff linked to their phones so they can always stalk me in school its so annoying and over the top and mean. Remember Honor thy Mother and Father, only commandment with a blessing, and YOU will have a good life. All just to get instagram. And a lot of the time, I need help from classmates for this homework, but I'm not allowed to have my phone AT ALL when I'm at home, even if it's not late. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts It's because I feel violated and freaked out. Having parental controls on my phone myself, I find it frustrating. My uncles, cousins, family friends, everyone knew. I thought it was because I had snapchat downloaded on my phone for a day, which is only because my friend needed to use it since it wouldn't work on her phone. Sad reality is they’re not equipped to deal with everything online and as a parent it’s your responsibility to ensure their safety, What does bother me is when she talks to him first and gives her side of the story, making me look like the bad person. Unfortunately that will not happen to me. My laptop now has Microsoft Family Restrictions on it, involving a 1 hour time limit and only educational apps/websites. are there some things that you dont feel comfortable using? Flag as inappropriate  Nailed it. She has video calls with a boy she never met and have sexual chats with him. I don't understand how some parents get "locked out" of their childs phone. var e = document.createElement('script'); e.async = true; But getting a text during class from him asking why I'm not at school (the GPS on the tracker glitched) really broke a level of trust for me. Also she can turn my phone off when I need to go to bed which is at 8:30, and I dont get tired at 8:30, I got to bed at 9:15 AMD SHE KNOWS THIS! Though my parents don't check up on my phone, they do have a paranoia with the internet so I do get little time on other devices such as a computer. What are the rules about using cell phones at school? Watch them find a way to bypass your control. Most kids my age like 13-14 aren't really active on there, but maybe that's just the people that I know. While I understand that I am the cause for all of my parent's strict rules, it can be really annoying at times. see our answer Part of parenting today is knowing Location of our kids, What they are doing, and Who they are talking/texting with. Not to be nosy or intrusive, but to protect naive children from falling prey to adults who know they get at kids who are unprotected. I have a daughter and when she gets to the age she has a phone so say about 12, I would not want her passwords as it just looks like I don’t trust her and there shouldn’t be no need for me to have her passwords unless there’s a problem, yes 12 is still a young child but I would definitely go on her phone to check it every now and again and explain it’s just to reassure me that she’s safe. That's how I figured out he was monitoring my computer, and he didn't even bother telling me that he was basically reading through my personal diary every time he opened his computer. Nobody uses any of that anymore. I have a private account, and I only accept people I know, my mom is the only person who can see my account, who I don't want to. James Avery (Philip) is in tears here as well, very visibly. If your child does do something wrong, talk with them first. If your child is a student that gets good grades for their personal skill level (they do not have to be straight A's as long as they are trying their best) and have given you no indication or reason to belive that they have done something bad, you DO NOT need to check their phone. Most kids/teens in their 10s need privacy, don't barge into their electronics if they're not doing anything bad. Before, I had a structure. see our answer If they post something wrong, immediately take it down and go over why it's wrong to do that and what can happen if you're not careful. I agree with this completely, well said! And I’m not trying to say to not monitor your kids, I think at a young age while you are teaching them how to act on the internet you should be doing that. Flag as inappropriate  I'm the master of hiding my favorite books/electronics (I don't have a phone) from my parents. I learned not too long ago that my dad has been tracking the location of me and my brother's phones. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts If they don't, then they don't have to. Now as an adult, beginning at 18 when I got my first bf,(she made us break up because of an age gap) my mother began looking through my phone and questioning in depth whenever I have lengthy conversations or calls with someone. If the child is a teenager: Spying or invading your teenager's privacy should be your ultimate last resort. I've had parental controls on my phone ever since I was 12 years old, in the 6th grade. Teen, 14 years old written by irlchamomile October 17, 2017 Teen, 13 years old written by hannalindsley777 June 6, 2018 or "Tell me all your passwords for your social media!" i cant even talk to my friends, i need to update them of every single thing i do when i touch my comp or my phone and my dad just chases me to put my phone down after i finally text after like 15 minutes. Kid, 11 years old May 5, 2018 It got to the point where I began to think that there were cameras put up in our house to spy on me. It was horrible. It's not inappropriate, mostly about crushes and friend drama. Whenever I'm out with friends, I keep close contact with him with status updates via text or call. Teen, 15 years old written by GolfBall463 December 19, 2020 Depending on you kids age and his daily attitude and actions, is there any reason you do? So really, my sister and I can never use any of our personal devices because we don't know what the rules ACTUALLY are, and we don't want to ask because we either A) get yelled at for wanting an electronic; or B) get yelled at for asking. If you’re afraid of them for whatever reason, tell them that. For kids of this time, we dont use journals, rather we share such things with our social media. When the individual is three or more years older, this could end in a conviction of the crime against the person that send the images or video. Dont give them shit for it. :) Is there anything I can do about the spam my kid's phone gets? As for myself, I feel it's well worth it. Checking everyday can make your child think that you don't trust them at all. They are not in any way being self centered and I honestly don't see why you brought the age into it Polly, is it to maybe assert dominance and dismiss what this person is saying just because they are younger than you? he thinks im too young and im already 13!! At some point they'll need cell phones, especially with a million and one practices, games, and meetings going on and I can't be everywhere. She has video calls with a boy she never met and have sexual chats with him. Most of them are just trying to help. For example, if you're checking their social media posts, just ask to follow them. I just want to cut them out of my lives completely because I can't see myself living a happy life with them in it. Teen, 13 years old written by cocoa3 October 10, 2018 We know a lot more then you think we do about the world, but we can still learn more and some guidance from adults is necessary as long as its not controlling or exessive. 325 comments It is up to you if you want to be good to have those things all the time or punish your parents by purposely being bad and difficult in situations of conflict. I’m not sure tho cos I’m quite scared of my parents when they’re angry what should I do? The internet is not a scary place, but to be safe children must be educated just like everything else. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts Teen, 14 years old written by joecurryvang January 12, 2018 By the way, if anyone is encouraging your child to commit suicide, instead of restricting your child and making it all your child's fault, talk about how to get past bullying and how to deal with it. Privacy is not always a bad thing, and being a helicopter parent will take your child's opportunity to discover the world. this is just my oppinion. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts Unless you have a reason to restrict them, don't. My parents tend to restrict my phone time and read my text messages to the point where it's crazy. Just use parental controls and be done with it. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts and she gets angry at every single thing she deems wrong or not to her liking. This means they can see all of my computer and phone usage. My laptop now has Microsoft Family Restrictions on it, involving a 1 hour time limit and only educational apps/websites. I’ve lost some trust in my parents for doing that. This might just be my personal experience, but parents are often on their phones more then their kids. It’s also always good to keep in mind that your child is most definitely keeping *something* from you, and it isn’t always wrong. It is perfectly ok to be worried about him but talking with him is so much better than snooping I promise! Whenever I didnt want her to check it, she thought I was doing something inappropriate. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts When you don't give your kids freedom most likely they're gonna go behind your back and do something. He was telling me to do my homework, and while I was logging in to studentvue, I tried to explain to him that I didn't have any homework. Privacy Program I think I’m going to confront them by either making an excuse that the app can steal our data or actually telling them that I don’t understand why they don’t trust me and maybe throw in that my friend are a little concerned. Until I moved out when I was 16. Then I find this post and it honestly angers me. I am male and currently 14, soon to turn 15. Sounds like your Mom cares about you and that you have learned from her about right and wrong so you make pretty good decisions. Over the years, my phone gets checked less and less. I feel like I should be able to use my phone at home because I feel that it is unfair for me to not be able to text my friends in my own home. Flag as inappropriate  You shouldn't keep a constant eye on your children without a reason, or they'll just start doing things behind your back. To be honest- i don't think people should monitor their teens phones. var e = document.createElement('script'); e.async = true; I'm the master of hiding my favorite books/electronics (I don't have a phone) from my parents. If you just baby them their whole life how the hell will they know how to spot creeps when dear intrusive mommy is gone? It's perfect for sneaking out without a loud notification going off. As for privacy -- it should be agreed upon before the start of the contract. Follow them on social media, but I wouldn't reccomend digging through it too often. My mom checks my phone and my laptop for no reason sometimes she does it without telling me.She looks through texts and phone calls and contacts just to find something to be mad about. Hope this helps They are the worst thing you can purchase for your child. But don't just force them to abide by those rules. It really feels like your parents don't trust you to be responsible. In my opinion, this post is made by an arrogant person who does not respect boundaries or personal space. Flag as inappropriate  I'm sorry. Say you're worried that the family's drifting apart and you want to spend more time with your child. I’m honestly terrified to talk to people I don’t even know, I don’t have Facebook or twitter. Teen, 14 years old written by Pixl July 25, 2019 use it so you can find the best way to protect them and keep them feeling happy and free by using their personality and prone actions to judge what they may need in terms of mobile restriction. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts same here, my parents controlling nature sent me into a spiral of depression, anxiety, anger-issues, and stress issues. see our answer I'm going into the 9th grade and I, as of now, feel like I'll never be able to do anything on my own with my parents up my behind all the time trying to make sure I do everything correctly. Maybe you should try to see our side from time to time. Flag as inappropriate  You'll only make it worse. Flag as inappropriate  You monitoring his phone while he watches porn isn't going to fix anything, sorry. I understand that some parents believe that because they paid for the phone, they have the right to read their child's text messages, look through their phone call records, social media accounts, and even read their search history. So don't be heartbroken or upset be very happy that your parents care enough to want the very best for you. They don't want me to have it because they think it'll make me depressed and suicidal. Adult written by VivianA 1 June 15, 2016 I love my dad, he’s really funny and understanding, but whenever I forget to do an assignment or seem not as interested in an activity, he immediately questions how committed I am. That’s not the case, I just feel very violated that somebody is checking everything I say. Flag as inappropriate  Just focus on school and do something great with your life. Its not like we go and check your conversations, but I bet if we did you would feel like they knew stuff that they would want you to know. Here's the truth: your child will eventually find a way to watch porn, or whatever you're trying to stop them from watching. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts something happens that leaves the reader scared and shocked. Flag as inappropriate  see our answer Unless you have a kid or a teenager prone to keeping secrecy of his personal life – you simply preinstall the tracking app onto the target device and give the device to him or her as a present. Parent written by Luckharj February 8, 2016 They began to look through everything on my laptop computer, my phone, and my iPad. Adult written by Constance D. October 5, 2016 Adult written by Alana C. August 20, 2017 That is a matter of keeping your kid safe. Diversity & Inclusion Kids these days will never develop into proper adjusted people if parents do not start butting out again like mine did exactly enough. I was (am) just like you too, except it started at the age of 10. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts It's gotten to the point where I had a panic attack once when my parents took away my 3ds without telling me why or even giving me a good reason. Yes the world is sometimes messed up, but your kids will need to learn how to handle themselves in this medium without you interfering; the sooner the better so they're not still learning how to surf the web safety by the time they go off to college, or even in high school. I held it inside for years because of the worry that my own mother would find my messages to my closest friends and get angry that I wasn’t discussing it with her. Also, as an older sister, you want her to feel like she can be truthful with you right? Whenever I didnt want her to check it, she thought I was doing something inappropriate. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts I searched it a lot around the age of fourteen and if I may say so myself, I turned out fine. That type of content is openly viewable to anyone with a phone and internet. 240 comments I really, really wish they did. If your child has horrible grades and attention problems or things like that, by all means, I think you should take it away for them to focus on that, (but in my opinion maybe still let them talk to school friends sometimes so they aren't always miserable and they can talk to someone) but if your child is fairly good, I don't see the harm in it. Seems over-exaggerated, right? Don't try to secretly monitor your kid, most teens and preteens are a tad more intelligent than they seem to be. When my parents see that I enjoy something, they take it away when they feel I've stepped out of line. Flag as inappropriate  In fact, being able to go online and talk on sites like this and speak about how I really felt helped. Flag as inappropriate  This really stinks because it negatively affects my social life and it makes me unavailable to my friends. I really feel like my mom doesn't trust me to do simple things like time management, managing what websites to be on, how to be safe on the internet, and etc. Doing so also gives parents a bad look and enforced the overprotective parent stereotype and the difference between parents and their kids. Sign in or sign up to share your thoughts It ruined my life. Be thankful they care and are looking out for you! Teen, 15 years old written by GolfBall463 December 19, 2020 I have the same rules all throughout this coronavirus outbreak. Adult written by VivianA 1 June 15, 2016 Have a talk with your kid. My little brother is 13 now and I would hate for him to go through what I went through. If you think it's OK for a 13 year old to watch adults engaging in sexual intercourse, wait till you have kids. (function () { I am male and currently 14, soon to turn 15. So this is why we parents do what we do. Also they can buy their own phone on certain carriers, so good luck if you're not paying for it. I understand after reading a lot of posts on this forum that the main reason is for the safety of your child. i feel like they dont trust me anymore. If your kid is super mature, good grades, good friends - do they need the controls? Flag as inappropriate  Most of us don't do anything that is inappropriate, but we would like to have some personal space. All im saying is be sure to listen to their side of the story and explain why their behavior is not safe an help them learn from it. Teen, 15 years old written by Untitled_Teenager November 18, 2016 2, if some random dude sends me a naughty picture, that is not my fault. He Kids, as long as your parents are paying for your food, clothing, schooling AND phone...You Don't Have Any Privacy. There was another instance when I slept over at a friend's house, and 7am he's knocking st the door because the GPS had said that I was in another city. I think if a parent is a good parent then they should have already shown their child how to behave responsibly, how to know dangers or not, and how to not bully people or stand up to one.
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